oops

so, i sorta lied on that last one. sorry. turned out my evening Didn't open up. but my day today has. as far as updates, i am more inclined to the quips, speed, and immediacy of facebook due to my current hectic schedule. excuses, excuses.


it is beautiful here this time of year. the windows in my flat give me a lovely view that belies my living in a city.


a betrayal of a friend has occurred, and i am enraged. partially due to my own betrayals bubbling up in attempt to defend her. two things i have not mastered in this life- letting go and knowing which parts of what fights are mine- collide in such circumstances. i think i may have been a spartan in a past life; something about 'with your shield or on it' resonates within the ancient parts of me.


my grandfather has been dead for four days, and in the ground for one. the family is sad, and subtly restructuring with the loss of our head. i am turning bookshelves on their sides to cope, despite two badly broken nails (one on each hand, no less) and weary bones. i can't decide which poem to paint.
i am thinking that our time to pass is perhaps as structured as our time to be given life, or times to meet. i wonder what is reconstituted in life once space is made by death; as hearts relax and stretch to support one another in love.


i hope all is well.


xoxox